Bittersweet
by TheNameIsJo
Summary: Light wonders about how he feels towards Misa. Does he care for her? Love her? Well he may feel love...but for L. LightXL Yaoi
1. Routine

**A/N: I fell in love with Death Note and began thinking up a second yaoi romance. Once again I'm striving to keep all characters as such, in character. It's difficult with such strained personalities but I'd love a review of what you think. **

**WARNING: This story contains yaoi (boy x boy). If you don't like it please do not read it. **

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**Bittersweet**

**Chapter One: Routine**

Clicks and clacking echoed throughout the room. Bouncing from corner to corner, wall against wall, and passing by the still inhabitants that sat upon the scattered furniture. Each acknowledging the common sound but never bothering to pay much attention to it. They had no need to.

This irritating clicking what somewhat of a routine for the men which stayed on a constant schedule. Day in and day out they listened whilst trying to maintain sanity from the combination of headaches and stress. Sometimes silence played its role for hours before someone would finally say something in attempts to make small talk. Either way it was agonizing. Quietness or familiar typing were both at an equal standard of this rapidly changing routine.

Luckily some of the men were able to drown both out completely with their own thoughts or mindless dazing. Never once hearing either but able to jump at the mere sound of another's voice.

For the remaining few it was different. Everything that had happened or was going to happen knocked on their minds for countless days. None were able to concentrate on one particular thing before skipping to another. And all the while an annoying clacking would be their to remind them of the true task at hand. Their personal lives were of no concern even as they sat around to contemplate them…No they couldn't even do that. That sound would always bring them back to a sad reality.

Stress played an even larger role which quickly overtook each of the investigators as soon as the killings began. A stress that brought many symptoms, mostly mental frustration but strange and foreign tension as well. It centered itself around the groups' leading source of information as well as the newly released student.

Indeed, the others could sense it wherever the duo went. Tension that could, in a cliché matter, be cut with a knife. Yes it had been like this for some time now. Even before the director's son was incarcerated there was an odd aura that emerged from both. A strain between them that spelled out their dislike of the other. Their growing pain that was kept as calmly as possible for the sake of needing to work together.

Whether it was tension, stress, or confusion it didn't matter at this point. Every man in the task force was brought to his knees with it on more than one occasion. Their changing from a simple life as an officer to a soldier in an all out war of wits with the one known as "Kira". They all accepted this as their fate and could only sit with blank stares as a clicking continued its routine.

"Have you found anything?" Matsuda perked up from his shallow thoughts, his eyes burning brightly as he looked to the control monitors.

"No."

A few directed their attention to the slouching figure who remained seated before the assorted screens. His shoulders only swishing as he prepared a sugar cube invested cup of tea while keeping up with his research. Even his negative responses earned respect from those that placed trust with him.

As disappointment advanced itself to the awaiting detectives they returned to their own personal problems. Mostly thinking of how life had turned upside down and inside out. Yes, many problems became greater and all suffered drastic changes.

For all who were involved it was a hard thing to accept as new life, more so for some than others. And perhaps the one who changed the most was the young student who sat shackled beside the reclusive Ryuzaki.

Yagami Light.

His life had been altered in every way. From being a bright and successful college freshman to a prime suspect cuffed to an untrusting detective. He was definitely the one who had been broken and put down the most.

At least that's how his fellow members saw him. A beat up rag doll that their supposed leader used as a partner in the case. Almost using him as a distraction to lose fact that the real Kira had yet to be found. A false suspect?

For Light he didn't see himself as Kira, he knew well that he wasn't. Yet he could understand in an odd way why Ryuzaki saw him in this sense. He fit a profile for the lost killer, he had "opportunities" to rid of people, and maybe once the hunched over genius targeted someone he refused to let go.

In spite of all the things he had been forced to go through to provide innocence he felt no anger towards his partner. He had others things worrying him and bothering him though he was stubborn and refused to let them show during a time like this.

On the top was Kira. Who was he or she? Why was Misa the second Kira? She had been proven guilty with the video tapes but could she just be an associate of the actual second killer? Many more questions could never be answered until the murderer was brought to justice but more would only come from that.

Aside from the case there were still teenage issues. Light was intelligent and throughout his life acted as an adult would. Working hard, being responsible, and driving towards a goal of being with the police force. Underneath this admirable front, a bright glimmer shimmered through that announced his still puzzling adolescent problems.

After work and Kira there was his own unique stress. Stress to capture a suspect, find evidence, discover the killing technique…Maybe these were all issues the rest of the force faced but his was worse. He had all the others counting on him and Ryuzaki to lead their investigation. To keep it afloat while maintaining a collected posture. Moving the clues and theories along until an unknown end.

Lastly there was a once unnoticed feeling emerging within Yagami. A strange sensation that had been so small he was easily able to keep it from thought. But that was a while ago…Now it had grown to be on his mind while he was attempting to focus on work. The thoughts of Misa.

A girl had showed up on his doorstep and declared her desire to be his. Announcing her love and devotion for him and all he chose to do. It was blurry on the events that led them here but his mind could easily picture the blonde girl. Her overly cheery aura and that sudden forced love she brought to him. He hadn't taken it to heart but lately he began to question his own feelings towards her. Did he love her? Maybe…But maybe it was because she constantly pushed herself onto him. Was he loving her because he felt he had to?

"Yagami-kun are you alright?"

A silent gasp was uttered as Light snapped from his thoughts. His cool persona taking over as he looked to the boy beside him. Those big dark eyes looking curiously into his own. Hair messily draping into them as he cocked his head with wonder.

"Fine, why do you ask?" He sighed.

"You've only been out of confinement for a few days, I have to make sure you aren't ill." He responded.

Light gave a slight frown, "Right."

"Hey are you guys there?"

Both turned to look at a top monitor, the screen becoming fuzzy as a familiar girl tapped the camera which controlled the surveillance equipment from her room. Her face huffed and pouting as she stepped back to let the observers see her completely. Both hands placed firmly on her hips as she began a long rant about none other than…

"Light-kun! You and I have a date! And Ryuzaki can't you stay there and give us some alone time? Why did you have to chain him to you? He's my boyfriend! I want to spend quality time with him without you."

A light beep sounded to the angered blonde's room as the detective formerly known as L pressed the microphone button on.

"Misa-san I told you before that I wasn't doing this because I want to." He released the button as the girl began stomping and screaming at the alarmed man.

"She has a point…"Light watched the screen as a hidden smile crossed his lips.

"Hmm?" Black bangs clouded the opposite investigator's face as he glanced to his partner.

"I mean if we weren't chained together you could continue working and I could go see her. You could watch from here, you know?" He looked back to the other man.

A rattling sounded clanked against the flooring as Ryuzaki turned his chair to face the student. Both meeting the others eyes as one expected an unpleasant response from the other.

It came.

"Yagami-kun I believe you are Kira…I can no longer contain you in a cell. Therefore I must keep you with me at all times. This will not be permanent but until I convince myself you are not Kira I will keep an eye on you 24-7."

Light narrowed his deep eyes at the opposite man. Both clashing and throwing thoughts back and forth through their minds. One trying to decipher which side of his mind he should follow. Should he maintain his innocence and attempt to fully make himself aware that was only a victim? Or should he actually listen to a man that had once almost made him believe he was a killer? And in the end see through the heartache that came whenever he was accused by him.

L…Ryuzaki was the head of this search. This game of cat and mouse between good and evil. His decisions and capability to get others to follow him was that of the utmost importance. The few members of the force had no intention or want to accuse Yagami Light of being a murderer. But if the day should come that Ryuzaki convinced them he was Kira then it would all be over.

This pain he felt was the pain of knowing he may be convicted of crimes against humanity. A dwelling ache of those words…"Light is Kira".

But that couldn't be the only thing causing him to feel these things. It was also the agony of understanding why L would think such things. As said, he could see the signs that led to him and awareness that he may even have suspected himself of the deeds. Still it was hard to take to the face when pushed into it.

For Ryuzaki he couldn't feel the pain behind these words. He said what he thought and never once bothered to hide it from Yagami or any of the task members. Light was still his number one suspect and the shackles that bound them only confirmed it. He had no intention of letting Light slip away not even for a moment alone.

"Y-You're right, Ryuzaki." He sighed.

The familiar manner of placing a thumb against his upper lip was performed as L showed a slight smile.

"You have a date with Misa-san, we shouldn't keep her waiting."

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"Like five minutes?"

"No."

"Three?"

"No."

"A freaking minute! Hey I was going to eat those!"

A one-sided battle raged on as girl and boy calmly argued over time and strangely enough…food. Of course Misa was determined as ever to get alone time with her lover and rid herself for a moment of Ryuzaki. As the ever calm detective merely responded negatively and continued eating the assortment of sweets that covered the table.

With a defeated huff, the girl's fragile figure slumped back into the couch cushions. Her arms spread out as she groaned with anger.

"You suck, Ryuzaki." She grunted.

"…." He continued dangling treats into his mouth.

Suddenly the model popped from her position as if a switch had flicked her back to her perky self. Her eyes burning with passion as she stared at Light. A devious smile stretching across her lips.

"Maybe we should just start being naughty, Light-kun. Ryuzaki might go."

"I don't think so…." He declined while still keeping a smile on.

It was a fact that he felt attracted to Misa but once offered anything he felt an overwhelming desire to say no. Maybe because L was here….Through this he still managed to smile from her cute way of acting up and being bratty. Immature like when Ryuzaki would sulk…it was appealing.

"Light-kun! You haven't even kissed me since I was at your house! I want to cuddle and snuggle with you!" Her lower lip trembled.

Roughly, Light swept his hand through his hair as a headache began to take place. Sure Misa was cute but there was a limit on nagging.

"…So Kira is using public sources to get information." Light changed the subject, his attention turning to L.

"Yes we've confirmed that from the data you found. Local companies have been falling and going bankrupt as soon as their employee records were opened…Those who were killed played major roles in their businesses."

"Yeah and Yotsuba may be behind the killings but who? Who in their organization would do this?"

"Hello! We're on a date! Light-kun!"

The student reverted back to the upset blonde just as she bounced up from her seat. Easily and quickly covering the mere few feet that separated them.

Light could only stay with his confusion as he felt her soft hands fall along his shoulders, her knees placing themselves on either sides of his lap, and her eyes warming as she leaned in to "take his mind off of work".

"Misa…" He felt his own eyes focusing on her as they began to close.

"Yotsuba Corporation…We'll use the new Kira's technique! Break into their employee's records and find the top of chain."

A loud clink tolled as a thud smashed against the ground. The binding chain yanking Light from his seat and Ryuzaki quickly headed for the door, Misa merely flailing from her lover's lap and falling to the ground.

Light trailed his fellow detective as Misa began ranting from within her locked confinement. The door handle rattling as she demanded for someone to open it. Both males ignoring her request as a silent, exhale of relief was made from Light.

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**A/N: Hope you enjoyed chapter one. I think it came out better than the first time I wrote it. Please leave a review. **


	2. Oddity

**A/N: I want to give a big thanks to MattTheGamer for leaving a review! You rock! And also a shout to those who added this to their alert list, thank you! **

**WARNING: This story contains yaoi (boy x boy) romance. Don't like it? Don't read it. But lets face it, L is so gay he can't even sit straight. **

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**Bittersweet**

**Chapter Two: Oddity**

A routine clicking had ceased its wrath upon those within earshot. Chances for sanity and calmness began to take a peaceful comfort to the ever shortening group. Those who remained could now sit and relax if only for an instant before being alerted of troublesome news.

So far nothing. But how long would it be before a breakthrough? An hour? A week? How long would they have to bear this feeling of helplessness?

Most had recently discovered a way to battle the tension and fear. By pulling themselves to a hardened front and struggling to pretend like nothing was happening as they attempted to sleep at night. Sleep that came but was constantly restless and nightmarish. Kira playing with them like toys until he controlled their every thought and action. Winning this war and laughing at such pathetic failure.

Ignoring the problem will never make it disappear. The members knew this and knew it well…Holding up and acting like Kira was a joke was for the sake of some kind of sanity from him. To imagine that he was hiding in a corner somewhere like a frightened dog and praying to Kami-sama that they wouldn't find him. Crying, miserable, and feeling like the demon he is for all the things he has done.

In the midst of these thoughts that kept them from realizing his true hold on them, there was doubt. Much doubt. Kira was smart, crafty, sly, and had an inhuman ability that could only mean death. This was truth in its purest form…If only some could have seen it sooner.

"…Open…Come on."

Whispers took place in the seemingly silent room. A shaky Matsuda tugging at the bagged snack he brought from his disappearing home outside this place. His fingers twiddling and pulling with his frustration rising.

Snapping took place along the cold floor. Tiny bite sized candies rolling along the tiling lines before running into the carpet. Their colorfulness accenting the weary ground before being rapidly swept into the angered man's hand. His head shaking and whimpers mumbling as the ruined snack was tossed into the trash.

"So much for that." He rubbed his head.

"Serves you right for always slacking off." Aizawa countered.

The opposite man gasped, "Slacking? I'll have you know I do plenty around here, thanks."

"Whatever."

The grouchy and stressed man stretched his tired arms. His eyes darting around the room for the countless time as of today. He had found this to be like clockwork since the others had been leaving in short breaks throughout the past few days. All were feeling the enormous weight of stress along with personal problems dealing with families and life. It had been agreed that two to three people could take a short ten minute break during the work hours to do whatever he pleased. But waiting for ones turn made minutes turn to hours.

"I could use some fresh air."

Matsuda nodded as he continued a stubborn glare at the rude man. His childishness was immediately thought to be a downfall, however it was slowly becoming clear that it may save the group one day.

"Hey Ryuzaki!"

"What is it Matsuda-san?" A muffled voice came from the unchanged seating position before the wall of screens.

"Would it be okay if Aizawa and me went out now? The rest aren't back yet but he wants some fresh air and I really want to head over to the vending machines." He laughed.

"….Very well."

"Alright! See you two in a couple minutes."

Gratitude for giving the older man freedom was held back as the duo left. Both staying in a cheerful quietness as they headed for the outside. An almost agonizing urge to run filled both but a professional manner took place as their steps led them to further freedom.

As the door closed with a small click, L resumed his attention to the screens. Almost all centered on the even more suspicious Yotsuba Corporation. Flashes of lobbies, board rooms, and even directly outside each restroom a camera waited for any type of criminal act.

_If Kira was among us he would see a fight or any other odd activity and place justice, right? Maybe…Light Yagami may be too smart for that._

Bright red cherries caught a tiny sparkle of light before they were slipped between L's waiting lips. Their stems sticking from his mouth before being placed into a makeshift trash bag. His eyes still alert to the low sounds emitting from the mysterious company.

A quiet sigh was acknowledged as the oddly seated Ryuzaki let his eyes slip away and onto his fellow detective. The boy seemed troubled or perhaps just bored as his own eyes kept with the camera of Amane's room.

Her prison while she lived here, her only escape being her job or pleads for freedom to go shopping. A common sight for the boy that felt a strange attachment to her. His attention had been with her recently though she only acknowledged his attraction if he was within her reach. She remained unaware as she stayed on her couch with a magazine in hand that her supposed lover was watching intently.

Even he became self aware that he was gazing at her without any regard for the few others that gradually shifted in and out from this trap. Sure they would talk to him, ask if he was okay, and occasionally begin to pry Ryuzaki to let him lay down. He stopped all offerings and claimed that he was merely thinking about Kira. An excuse which worked…for now.

No. Now wasn't the time to admit any thoughts or declare feelings for the older girl. Before anyone else could assume he suffered from romance troubles, he first had to discover if they really were troubles at all. His emotions had been slowly unraveling…Could this be what love felt like?

"Yagami-kun?" L broke in for the first time today. Seizing his chance to ask since he had been overwhelmed with others pressuring for an answer throughout the entire morning.

"Hmm?" He sighed.

"Anything new about Kira?" An answer which he already knew.

_No._

"No."

"We'll have a breakthrough. Don't stress over it." He placed a juicy strawberry on his tongue.

"…Sure."

Both went back into their close seclusion from the other. An imaginary wall building as they resumed thought with prayers that the other would not discover their minds workings. One decoding life's little troubles…maybe big troubles as the other ran unknown logic with ranging decisions floating around.

Another quiet sigh elapsed as Light felt a small bit of tension release from within. His mind trying to let go of these absurd thoughts. This was no time for love and games, this was work and catching a killer. So why couldn't he completely let all of his newly adopted theories go? Two or three thoughts could pass but the big questions would forever be with him. Staying and gripping him until he could no longer do anything but blankly stare at this screen?

Small clinking brought him back to reality. The chain which bound him to the opposite partner had shifted along the floor. Ryuzaki spinning his chair ever so slightly as he picked the sugar cubes from the bowl and placing them into his tea filled cup.

Light watched this familiar oddity with little interest. He had grown accustomed to these kinks that made L, L. His way of eating, sipping tea, moving about, holding various things up with the tips of his slender fingers. Yes he was different but created a unique style that amused his partner.

Even the cuffs that held them together had begun to show a literal attachment between the two. At least Light had thought so. Before he had felt weird about the entire idea of being with this accuser all day of everyday as would anyone. At times he felt hostility towards him within the short time they were held. Feelings of distrust and anger at the slightest hint of calling him out.

A clank smacked the tile once more as the investigator returned to face the screen, his teacup bursting with cubes. Routine eating taking place as he stayed blissfully unaware of the shifted eyes that stared at him.

Ryuzaki, L. Light narrowed his eyes at this strange man. Resentment and hate, he recalled these things for L in the preceding months. He remembered watching television and seeing that phony L die as his heart filled with an automatic dislike of the elusive character. Remembrance of meeting him and still feeling distant hate.

Why had he been so fearful and resentful of him? His mind could see images of times he felt most on edge but blurred flashes skipping along his heart. Times that seemed so important to remember but an eerie fear refusing to let him see.

His eyes blinked from their grip on his face as he acknowledged his more recent thoughts of the boy. He had grown to respect L though admitting it may lead to a larger gap between them. It was constantly made apparent that Ryuzaki disliked him or distrusted him…Though a while back they exchanged words of friendship in their alliance.

Growing trust for the detective emerged in Yagami more than ever as soon as they became a team. Fights were inevitable since they shared several different viewpoints and through it Light remained with a secret trust for L. His intelligence was more than impressive, he had great theories, and maybe they were friends beneath shadows of doubt. Yes they were more than teammates in this struggle and perhaps Light was beginning to like a fact that Ryuzaki may be bound to him for a long time to come.

"Yagami-kun, may I ask you a question?"

"Yeah sure." Light's eyes grew.

"How do you feel about Misa-san?" He looked to him with curious depth.

_Misa?_

He huddled in an essence of silence. Why did everything lead back to her? And how was L so perceptive? It was true that Misa had something to do with this case therefore Kira led to her. Even her and Light knowing one another before incarceration was a symbol of tying them together. But what did…

"I-I don't know…" He held his head firmly.

"…You told me once before that it was one-sided." He chewed his recent sweet.

Light's eyes slowly came to see the opposite boy's. Both looking through their blades of hair with an odd gleam. A gleam that a fight may follow a thought-to-be good moment.

"Yeah well it is…I mean it was. I don't really know, okay?"

"Hmm? So you have grown to love Misa-san?" A smile began to appear.

"What's all this about? Why do you even care?" His voice began to show its usual signs of aggravation.

"You are preoccupied with her, correct?"

"…Maybe."

"That could effect our investigation if you have your thoughts on her." He announced matter-of-factly.

"I won't let it get in the way, alright?" He frowned.

"So are you trying to figure out if you love her?" He smirked.

"I don't know!" He clenched his teeth.

"If you love her please tell me so that we can get on with our findings."

A screech slid across the floor as the chair quickly came to a halt behind Light. His standing figure glaring down at an increasingly annoying Ryuzaki. Just when he pictured them as a friendship he ruins it with crap like this.

"What do you really want me to say, Ryuzaki?" He gripped his fist at his side.

"I just want to know so you won't be so dazed, is that wrong?"

"Really? Or are my problems affecting you?"

The hunched boy jumped from his crouched position and to the floor. His posture finally standing as erect as possible as he looked at the opposite boy. Their eyes meeting and glaring with a fight in mind.

"Your issues with Misa are of no concern to me. My only focus is with this case and whether or not you are going to help me or space out." He frowned.

"Fine I love her, now lets work."

"No. An honest answer would be better so that it won't continue to plague your mind."

"It's one sided, she's obsessed, can we drop it now?"

Again L's strange tactics took place as he questioningly placed his thumb against his lip, pressing as he thought of further ideas. Did he really have a reason for attacking this boy? Yes, he did. His reasons were still a mystery even for himself.

"Honestly?"

"Honestly…I don't know. I might but…I can't decide that right now with the case and you still on my mind. I care about her safety but love…" He lowered his head along with his threatening aura. His fists shaking until returning to softened hands, his body relaxing.

"You want to figure it out by yourself?"

"Yes. I mean it should be that way…Not like anyone could help, right?" He smirked at how foolish he felt.

"…Wrong."

His eyes looked up as dark bangs fell into his face. L's own deep gems staring at him with a strange unknown look. A look of warmth and comfort so different from his usual cold calculating demeanor. Hints of that familiar curiosity and wondrous glow peeking from them as he rested his forehead against the equally tall boys.

"R-Ryuzaki…What are you…What…?"

His heart pounded as it had done many time when Misa latched onto his arm. No more so than then. It felt like it would burst from him if he didn't get away…or…or..

The student could feel himself unexpectedly gasp as a wet sensation ran along his lower lip. L's own mouth gently skimming his sweet tasting lips over his partners. Their eyes in a deadlock as time seemed to stop for both.

"What…You can't…Why…"

Meaningless muffled ramblings emerged from Light's shocked figure. His eyes shaking with fear and…strange sensations as L continued to toy with his mouth. Never before had he experienced something like this…He had kissed girls with suddenness as to keep it a loving surprise but this was new to be on the opposite side of the view.

Slowly Light began to feel his numbed mouth open willingly against Ryuzaki's pressure. Feelings still tingling along his mind as confusion clouded all previous judgment. His body disobeying orders to pull away as his hands clung to L's shirt collar. Shaking reaching his knees more and more as he fought to keep a collected front against L's own cool persona.

Warming heat began to fill Light's mouth as a sweetened smell slowly reached for his tongue. Closer and closer as he began to almost plead for it.

Suddenly the gentle stare was stopped as was an attempt to seduce Yagami's urges with L's own skilled tongue. His eyes shot to the creaking doorway as the handle turned. Feet and posture trying to hesitantly pull away from Light's tight grip.

He met the student's eyes once more as previously off guard looks were replaced with hints of anger. Both sets of glares locking as a familiar shake overtook Light's still tightening fist.

"Sorry it took so long! Stupid vending machine…Whoa! Break it up you two! Don't you dare start fighting again!"

Matsuda dropped the small bags of vended goods along the couch as he ran to the seemingly fighting duo. Quickly he yanked Light from L's wrinkled shirt as they both took a step back from the other.

"Seriously it's getting old you two! No more, got it?" He asserted the situation.

"What's going on?"

The remaining members of the force crowded into the room with questioning looks. All listening as Matsuda explained the two's quarrel and how he broke them apart. Never forgetting to add in a few "heroic" details of his act.

Yes all listened and began silently shaming them for fighting. The two would hear none of it though as they stayed in a heated quiet battle. Both maintaining their ground before Ryuzaki broke the stare. His slouching on the chair taking over as if nothing had happened, his fingers tapping the keys.

"I've narrowed down suspects in Yotsuba."

Chimes of excitement streamed along the task force as they crowded around the monitors. All cheering and sparking with readiness for work. Forgetting the fight as Light also resumed his station and began blindly flipping through lists of possible suspects.

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**A/N: Hot in here all of the sudden…Need air! I enjoyed writing this chapter, please leave a review! I'll be sure to update as soon as possible. **


	3. Reasons

**A/N: Much thanks to Whitelilly, Susume, Dawn-at-Midnight, Subaruxkamui4ever, and Zaybex! I appreciate feedback and love reading your comments. Also thanks to the people that added this to their alert/favorite stories list. **

**WARNING: This story contains yaoi (boy x boy) romance. If you don't like it, do not read it. **

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**Bittersweet**

**Chapter Three: Reasons**

Ticks and tocks rang their low harmony throughout the room. Swaying the still silence without hesitation to bring further tension. No, as an intangible sound it could not understand the rising annoyance it had started. Yet the syncing of the singular pendulum beating in the inhabitants ears grew a disturbing sensation of coldness.

Icy cold that felt all to real as it burrowed into the duo's already tired bodies. A freezing feeling that screamed for more time, for more chances to end this nightmare, and for more light to be shed upon life's twists and turns. But with this merciless swinging of passage this may never come to be.

Time was slipping away as if it were nothing at all. Just mere minutes, seconds, or years could drift by without notice. The world continuing it's twirling and acting as if all people had not one care. Precious time was being lost and a rapidly moving lifespan had not yet completed it's utmost important task.

Unknown to his being, Ryuzaki was this unfortunate case. Not that he wasted time with meaningless measures but something beyond his control would throw every inch of work away with his passing. Time, once again, would turn to worthless garbage.

Even he pondered if his life would end abruptly by an unworldly circumstance known simply as "Kira". With a name and face all would snap shut to the afterlife's doors. His life's work to capture a heartless killer would never come to be…at least by him.

Ticking counted into another hour as the clock struck two in the morning. His eyes closing for an instant as they came back to life to continuing typing for further unnoticed amounts of time. A constant pull of his eyes attempting to not look at the adjacent person.

Yagami Light was of course the said person. His dark lean figure sitting back against the soft couch as his own thoughts on time went by. Time being a key factor for him especially under serious conditions.

For one, his freedom still hung ever so gently in the balance. If L were to suddenly decide he was a murderer there would be no question from the already withdrawn police. His words of innocence would never matter again once the jail cell door was slammed.

Two: Capturing the real Kira still played the biggest role of all. Slyly and stealthily finding him using his own tricks and games. Fooling him before he could dare slip away again.

These two almost simply put plans were gambling as a constantly struggling issue. Issues that couldn't be ignored yet couldn't be solved until all focus could be aimed towards them. But before that could happen, Light had to first cross a line he couldn't bring himself to face. A border that had been set in the preceding hours and hadn't been mentioned since.

Thick looming barriers that had been brought up by both boys in an attempt to separate themselves…for obviously different reasons. For fear or testing, childish play or a sensation of madness. Whatever reasons L had were of no concern to Light. He could barely stand to think of his own troubles let alone questions of Ryuzaki.

Carefully he swept his hand through his messy bangs as his eyes showed their depth. Deepening thought he knew that logically he would have to conquer before anyone had the chance to force a solid answer upon him. A simple yes or no to his question had become an all out war on himself.

…_L…_

A chocked down gulp was uttered from his throat as he began to attempt a normal breathing pattern. Due to a panting that had cause his father alarm earlier in the previous day, he could not afford to have L notice him struggling. Simple, in and out.

The so called alarming pant was due to Light's own stubborn personality wanting to let out frustration of his partner's actions yet had led him to almost collapse. Doing so now would be even worse, the two were alone with no one to guard him in a defenseless position. L could question him, make him nervous, or even make him die if his fear overcame him.

_L…W-why? Why?_

Quietly, a single sigh was made as Light began his strange personal journey to discover this plaguing answer once and for all. Breaking down the largest into smaller fragments as to maintain calamity and sanity.

_H-how do I feel about him? No…maybe I shouldn't think of him. _

An imaginary nudge was given as he dared to picture the intelligent opposite as he really saw him. A strong, determined, unique, bright individual. Someone he deeply respected as a person and as a "friend". Someone he felt was at his level of persona, maintaining a cool posture and always holding a front against pressure.

His eyes narrowed at these thoughts of truth. There before him was the first problem. He still had admiration for the other man even after the incident that had angered him to a point of breaking down. He still liked L….Why? And why did the mere thought of it make him instantly relive that particular moment? His heart beating so intensely as he felt those odd emotions all over again.

_A normal reaction would be to hate him…I did earlier. I did. I hated him…I don't know why but I had to. So why is it that I feel comfortable with him right now? We're alone, I should be scared but my only fear is that he'll start with his Kira crap again. _

A shallow softening began to fill his deep eyes as he recalled easier times of blurry images. Memories he couldn't see clearly but remembered feelings of hate and distrust. Those foreign sensations towards his somewhat weird rival. How he hated him but suddenly began to grow a liking to him. To bloom a friendship that was still damaged by suspicion. Even then he felt feelings of…okay…just okay feelings of him.

But now something had permanently taken a twist on their binding tie. It had not been shattered or damaged but…molded to something different. He didn't feel angry or upset but with every blink at his opposite he felt strange. He couldn't see him the same way any longer.

_Is it wrong to still be alright with him? And what about Misa…_

His eyes widened as he came to a realization. His thoughts of the two juggling together before becoming blackened by his will. His mind shutting them off, seeing as he could not face them right now.

"Yagami-kun."

Another low gasp elapsed as he shifted weary eyes to the boy across from him. Black beams once again feeling like unreadable books that left curious audiences in limbo. Digging into one's soul and staying there as they analyzed.

"W-what is it?" He cleared his throat as to not show weakness.

"There have been rumors of secret meetings. I think it would be wise to…"

"Why?"

Both sets of eyes widened at the sudden out bursting question. L staying surprised that Light would interrupt him during a desperate time of consulting and Light shocking himself with his stubborn mind wanting answers so carelessly.

"Well if we intend to investigate them I suggest we discover what happens in those meetings…We could start by…"

His words of planning were no longer halted by interruptions, they were simply trailed off in Light's calculating mind. His shocked and stunned figure pulling to a strong front as he wondered back to the things he never wanted to face. Yes this was another fact that had been brought up many times in his own thoughts. He could not move forward because his questions would always set him back. Breaking in and finding the new Kira would never come to be so long as him and L kept a strange tension wall between them. Now the question was whether to break the barrier and start asking or not.

Low panting allowed itself freedom as he managed to act like L's plans were of immediate interest. Meanwhile his mind began a quick scan of some of his more unknown workings.

_Misa._

She was his first dilemma, the one to cause all the aching confusion he suffered. Declarations of love, of how he felt, or even if he could feel that way. She was the cause but was not to blame for the escalation of all the odd occurrences. Still in his time of needing to know how he felt he had not once thought of her feelings or wants. All his attention had gone to L in an attempt to have an understanding. Slowly L had become his problem of love. He didn't…did he? No! He had to love Misa. She was his already, he simply had to let her know that he had fallen for her, right?

A frustrated growl echoed out as Light shot from his seating on the couch. Clinks and rattling falling to the floor as the chain hit the carpet. L's slouched figure staring curiously as he shot questioning glares.

"Why did you do that to me?"

Again a stare was shared between them as L stood in an advanced knowing that a fight may ensue. Both glancing with opposing looks as L put his finger to his mouth in concentration.

"I thought it was clear that I wanted to help you."

"Yeah? And how does that help?" He panted roughly.

"Misa-san is the only one to ever show you affection in love, correct? I thought if I showed you that there were other people out there that would do the same, you might discover you didn't love her." He smirked.

Further clinking shook as Light stepped back, almost touching the couch with his leg. His mind slowly taking in the answer as some stress seemed to be lifted.

"I must admit…" L looked with a bored glance to the ceiling.

Light began a questioning stare of his own. Eyes not meeting as the strange wall of tension began to rise into odd levels.

"Admit what?"

"Admitting that I didn't do it all for you. I mostly was testing to see if Kira could be swayed to kill by anger alone." He looked to the stunned boy.

"W-what?" His body shook as his mind became hazy.

Silence was given as a response as both awaited a reaction to the admission. One hoping for a statement linking his suspect to being a killer, and the other staying in an unknown corner of shock.

For L he could tell only himself that these motives were low but somewhat necessary. Sure he caught Light at a vulnerable time but hadn't Kira done the same when it had been clear that a selected few would be the only ones pressing this case? It was low and uncalled for under certain circumstances but he had his various reasons.

Light could only shake and struggle to comprehend this. Why was it so shocking that he would pull this? He would do anything to take Kira down but going against someone he saw as a friend was unheard of. Still Light as a suspect…No! He was a friend in need? No not that either.

A smacking sound echoed into the night as L's knee slammed his weight against the bulky table. His collar in a tightened hold as Light readied a solid punch. Their eyes forcing to look into the others with anger. Black holding a hint of depth, shallow madness, and yet a caring glint. His opposing side only holding hate but obvious struggles to understand.

_I still don't hate him…I can act like it but I can't really…why?_

"Yagami-kun?"

Eyes locked into the other's.

"Do you have your answer?"

He loosened his grip, "…Yes."

Light's hand soon released the captive shirt as he allowed a smile to come over his lips. His body letting large pieces of tension go as he began to accept his answer as a blessing. Yes, he knew what it was he wanted.

And as he fell back to the couch in bliss, his fellow investigator let bits of happiness slip by his mouth. No not happiness. A glad feeling that he had found his answer.

L only opened his mouth once more before shutting it. His eyes seeing how happy Light was without words and out of his own sense of sulking he frowned at the relieved teenager.

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**A/N: I know you wanted more hotness, right? Well this was ****not**** the end! There's one more to go so you may see some more loving! It'll really suit the title but I hope you enjoyed this one. Please review!**


	4. Conclusion

**A/N: Sorry for the wait, didn't get around to writing anything! Anyway I want to give praise and thanks to those of you who read this story. Also a huge thanks to Oztan, Jazu-chan, Vanimelde, and Zaybex for reviewing! **

**Enjoy the last chapter!**

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**Bittersweet**

**Chapter Four: Conclusion **

Small echoes of chatter and theories made their way into each of the investigators' mouths. Fresh ideas pouring into their stale minds as one almost chipper-like plan came into play without hesitation to state another. All collaborations stacking themselves into a well formed lead as to guide all donating members.

Yes. Yes a break had indeed shed a brilliant light into this darkened tension. Lighting ways and paths into scattered clues to end this foul mystery. Bringing and filing the stress to minor random headaches. Relieving each single member as they formed a tighter team.

Or perhaps this eagerness to work or follow through with talk of taking down the new Kira could not give full credit to a slowly lowering tension. Yes it was true that aching nights and agonizing days were less severe due to sighs of stress releasing. Yet underneath this depth there was a remaining wonder.

Could their leaders be the ones who truly deserve praise for upholding an upbeat state of mind? For working as a formidable duo against a dangerous killer?

This task force had been assembled with a set of unwritten rules stating that each member was of the utmost importance. Each possessing a unique characteristic that was needed if success was to ever be thought of as such. L…Ryuzaki had made this clear without using so many words.

However…

In the very beginning this recluse had been alone in all his projects, each ending with the "bad guy" imprisoned. His lone mind making every break, every lead, and every capture. And in a split moment he invited a small few to join his quest for justice.

…And in that moment, with suspicions already in place, one hopeful person had caught his eye.

Yagami Light.

Together their obvious intelligence had synced to work as one. Bound by a chain they worked countless hours, even after the rest had been given a sliver of freedom. A duo that once carried a heavy aura of distrust had left an already doubtful group with a sense of failure. But once again made a change into a brighter outlook for themselves and their followers.

Maybe they were the rightful credit to this newfound feeling of success and righteousness.

"I could handle the pressure! I'm not useless." Matsuda was once again defending his "important piece of the case" title.

"Yeah right. If we have to break into Yotsuba, we need someone with a cool persona."

"I could do it! Just some little acting skills put to the test."

"Save it, you couldn't act your way…."

"Why did you…?! I'll have you know…"

Childish arguments played on like a broken record as they quickly faded in the ears and minds of the leading duo. Both concentrating all energy and skill into the discoveries of the third Kira.

"The security cameras outside the meeting rooms don't reach passed the doorway. It wouldn't be hard to setup bugs and our own cameras though."

The ever intelligent Yagami allowed his fingers to skip across the keys as single camera angles surfaced on the monitors. All exposing the inner rooms and doors within the deeper realms of the building.

"…Yes I suppose we could. We don't want to raise suspicion and chance them to move their meetings to a different room." L held the colorful strawberry for a moment more before sliding it into his mouth.

Light slid his eyes to see his partner, "What if we disguised a few members and said we were maintenance adjusting something in every meeting room. Then we could place the cameras in and they wouldn't think twice about it."

"…It's a good plan, maybe we could place a single camera in every other room to assure a piece of evidence incase they decided it wasn't safe."

"…Okay that will be our next move then."

Familiar and tedious sounds of silence grew within the two's ears. High pitched echoes piercing through the chatter that played on behind them. Inching away at them in an even stranger manner than that which had occurred in earlier days.

A different oddity that didn't announce stress or confusion, curiosity or hate, or any hint of the other being left in a state of wonder for the opposite. It was…nothing. Nothing at all. Not a single thought on the other or on the case. A stale, hollow void that had once been given an odd sense of life when filled with strain between them. Strain that held them together in a bridge to conversation about off-case issues.

Conclusion had set in and it sounded like nothing.

"Light."

The teenager's eyes widened into life as he heard his father's stern voice sounding from behind him.

A low crackle tolled from the handcuffs as he spun his chair to face his elder.

"Yeah Dad?"

"I talked to your mother this morning about bringing some fresh clothing over, when she gets here I was hoping you could go downstairs and get it?" From beneath his glasses he narrowed his eyes to true decision maker.

Light followed his father's motions as he looked to the seat beside him.

"…Yagami-kun will be safe to go outside for a minute…I'm sure Kira won't target him." He quietly began selecting a new strawberry.

A low sigh of relief was issued from father and son. Both in an instant of pleasure that perhaps a shadow of innocence had been placed with Light….This was soon shattered in both men's minds as they recalled many times Ryuzaki referred to this cruel murderer as a different being.

"…I'll get them Dad." He gave a smile before returning to stare at the monitors.

Tracks of low clicking carefully furthered away from the almost isolated area of technology. The elder Yagami's heels finally ceasing when reaching the center of laughter and chitchat. The young duo staying to themselves as they returned to silence.

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Dark lines continued their streak as the metal chain slid the lighter carpeted hallway in a backwards motion. Dragging an uneven trail as tiny fibers were plucked from their places and often dropped along the seemingly endless hall. All motions of this, remaining unnoticed.

For the carriers of this sometimes tugging chain they could only see what was lying ahead. A long hall of locked doors, unattractive wallpaper, motion censored cameras, and of course an overall sound of quietness.

No, surroundings beneath their feet would remained unwatched and uninteresting as the double sets of eyes focused towards a simple goal. A goal to survive this newfound feeling they shared. This nothingness that could be easily overshadowed by a desire to return to preceding days. In the hours which stress was easier to handle than this unknowing aura.

Strain had bound them in mind rather than body, tension giving them that hard to explain sense of excitement of the other's actions, and a looming question that kept them in conversation of life. Could the stress and confusion been worth that? Maybe…But that was gone in a single abrupt moment. Now only a single question stayed…An easy one that both thought of but for only a mere second.

_When will I…_

Light snapped from this drifting thought as they reached the awaiting elevator. Aluminum and metal casing giving them distorted reflections as they took in the sounds of the moving inlet approaching. L remaining in his here but not here state as he waiting with little amusement. Light looking to see Ryuzaki's wavy image within the metal. Only a limp figure stood with bangs clouding his eyes, no sign of exchanging glances.

"…Yagami-kun?"

He gasped, "Yes?"

The staring set of double doors slid open, the two stepping in as it closed behind them.

"…You have a date with Misa-san tonight, will you tell her you love her?" He pressed the final floor's button.

"No. I don't love her…"

"Is that the conclusion?"

"Yes…It wasn't as hard as it seemed. Either I loved her or I didn't. I don't." He sighed heavily.

L smirked, "I am happy for you…."

Light blinked curiously, "We can get back to work?"

"…Yes now we can catch Kira so long as we keep in focus…But that is not the only reason why….Light is L's first friend…And L's first love."

L's dark eyes exposed their depth as his bangs were swept from his face. His body turning to see his partner's reaction. Both allowing the other to look with a lusted passion that had been given with their first encounter.

Cautiously, L stepped the mere foot that separated them in the cramped elevator. His face nearing to close the gap as Light met him with eager lips. Both pressing intensely as the student could feel that wanted wetness against his mouth, his desire opening himself as sweet heat gently caressed his tongue. A low moan elapsed from both as Light forced his weight against L, the cunning detective allowing his figure to fall back against the cold metal wall.

Heat was released for a moment as Light skimmed the list of buttons for the emergency stop. His finger pressing as the elevator came to a halt.

"Yagami-kun….!"

The student began a rough nibbling at his lover's neck, the gentle massage of fingers running through his hair. Another low moan was given as Light slid his hands beneath L's shirt, feeling his slender frame with eagerness.

"Yagami-kun…." He whispered through a strained desire.

Light slid his lower lip to his ear, "L."

Slowly the student's hands made their way down their partner's heavily breathing body to the hem of his jeans. The button and zipper unfastening with ease as he began venturing further.

"No Yagami-kun."

"…Why?" He whispered.

"You have a task for your father, correct? Your mother should be waiting for you…." He panted.

A low sigh was released as he nodded, his fingers once again skimming the panel, pressing the lowest floor level as the elevator began to head downwards once more.

The two separated as both composed themselves to a professional degree. An eager wanting of silence to overtake the small room as to sense the void within. To discover if a hollow aura could now overshadow this happiness that filled both….Again in this quietness there was nothing…Not the void…No. It too had vanished with the confusion…For good.

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Bloodcurdling screams echoed into cold darkness that loomed from corner to corner. Hollow fear that pleaded for mercy and safety from the truth that came from within all action. A scream that pierced and explained to the gatherers what had just occurred.

"Light calm down!"

"Light!"

"It's Kira! Light we have to get out of here!"

"Stop!"

The confident boy ceased his cries as he remained in a locked position upon the icy tiles. His arms holding the lifeless body of the one person who truly stood in his way…

L.

Yes the person who had begun the publicly known war of Kira vs. L had lost. His life easily taken by a death god who was also assumed to be dead. Kira, Light had won.

"Lets get him to the hospital. They may…."

The group stopped their pleads and offerings as they stayed focused on the young man who still clutched his once bound partner in his hands.

"Light…It'll be okay. We can work without Ryuzaki…We can still catch Kira." His father placed a confident hand on his shoulder before signaling for the others to give his son a moment alone.

All obeyed with little hesitation as they turned and began a slow composure of getting the already dead leader to a hospital.

Light shifted his eyes to either side, assuring himself that the easily tricked detectives weren't within glancing ranges. The two gems returning to look down upon his finally deceased "friend".

The depth and darkness of his eyes narrowed as he cradled L tighter, his already cold face becoming nuzzled against Light's warm neck. Hot tears allowing themselves to stream downward and drip to the unmoved figure.

"I love you." He choked out in whispers.

The boy remained in this posture even as the group returned to assist in removing the body. All glancing down in complete believe that Kira or the god of death was responsible. None showing compassion for L's constant theory that their remaining leader was a killer.

Little did they know that at this point their leader had convinced himself that he was not the one who had done this…or had plotted this deed. He was only L's love and he could only love L for this last moment before he would reign as the god of a new world.

Love, hate, conclusion. It's bittersweet.

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**A/N: Turn on the air, I'm kind of hot. Anyway the story is done! I know some of it was rushed but it's three in the morning and I'm tired. Hope you liked it though! **


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